I am back.

-Run a marathon (shoot, I'd settle for a half-marathon)
-stop biting my nails
-lose weight
-start a craft
-keep my closet in something resembling order
 ... and the list goes on.

No, this is not my "to do" list - sadly it has become my "want to -but just can't list." I have all of these grand ideas and hopes - Start a blog! Write on it everyday!....and inevitably I always find myself falling short of my self imposed high hopes. I don't know what it is about my chemical make up that anchors my bottom to the couch most nights - but I just can't seem to find the motivation to do anything other than cook dinner, eat dinner and then pass out.

The really sad part of all of this is I have this same commitment problem with people. I'll meet a new person and immediately construct all these grand ideas - We could be best friends! Let's get together each week! We could raise our children together!!
...the promises go on.
What's worse is this particular character flaw doesn't just hurt my own dreams and wishes - it takes other people down with me. Not everyone is as fickle with their desires as I am, and not everyone lacks the will to follow through. I hurt people in the worst way possible - by just fading out of reach.

Thankfully I'm aware. I'm working on it. I know I'm like this and I try every day to be a little less lazy, a little less fickle and try a little harder to do the things I really want to do. And that includes getting off the couch, going running when I want to nap - and making a better attempt at writing more blogs.

I am back. I am continually fighting my tendency to fall short of my goals. I am starting by keeping up this blog again - I know, you're excited... I am too.

No comments:

Post a Comment